moments of happiness

Let me try and gather some of the moments which gives me true joy.
When I see my baby sleeping peacefully with her soft hair fluttering under the wind of the fan..
When I get up in the morning and realise I don't have a hangover..my head is light and clear...
When my wife and daughter gives me a double power hug...
When I see the road has been rebuild overnight...
When I see an unexpected msg from an old friend...
When I find the exactly same dish which I so wanted to eat been served at home...
When someone says Thank You...
When someone gives way to me...
When someone smiles at me...
When the temperature in office is just right...
When I see roads are empty...
When my father calls me just to ask how am I...

Moments Before Death

Few days back I had a very restless night... I got a call from my mother at 11pm..the ring on my phone gave me an uncanny chill down my spine, this must be a bad news. and to my expected shock I was told that my distant sister had died last night. She was a nice soul and was suffering from thallesmia. what shook the hell out of me was the description she gave me of her last moments. Let me tell you that in words which best possible describes it.. She was admitted with all kinds of internal organ failure and it was certain that this is her last time.. till evening all members of her family were besides her and she was awake..but due to some stroke of luck, it was decided that all of them would go back home and come back next day morning, this included her mother and own sister. I still don't know why they agreed and left the dying woman alone in the cold and dark ICU... At around the stroke of midnight, she started suffering insurmountable pain and she struggled to call the duty nurse by sign language...somehow she pointed to the nurse to get the diary from under her pillow which had the phone numbers. The nurse got hold of few numbers and called frantically..please come as she is dying and wants someone to be near her...by the time someone reached, that lady went through severe pain and suffering..all the while looking at the messengers of death who would have silently descended and waited next to her, to take her soul away, to tear the life out of her body ..She must have pleaded to them to wait for few more minutes as she wants to see her mother one last time, feel her hand on her head and hug her for one last time...it must have been painful.. she died with no one around her.. life and death are two truths which all of us must respect and accept..May God rest her soul in peace!

A daughters little steps into growing..

This is the story which every father would have and would be going through. Zoya my daughter was going with me and my wife in the comforts of our car to her school. We kept thinking, she is too small to go by a big bus etc etc. But one fine day we decided to push her into the deep sea..to send her by the school bus. Initially like any father, I was terrified to send her into that big monster of a bus. How will she manage? will she fall down? will someone bully her? what happens if the bus brakes hard? what is she needs some help?? so the day I saw her taking those smaller steps into the big stairs of the bus and struggling to climb, I felt like rushing and pulling her out from there... I resisited and and then she managed to climb up and vanished into the stomach of that monster. I nowIfelt kind of sad, she is growing and growing fast, I thought. But just about when I was about to turn my head away, I heard the sweet voice of my kid, saying "Baba I will miss you!! and she waved her tiny hand through the window and slowly vanished into the cityscape.. I kept looking at the bus and a small tear just about rolled out from under my spectacles..

What can we do for out country?

This is a direct inspiration from the blog post of one of my very dear friend (http://www.restlesssouldier.blogspot.com/) . His blog post forced me also to think what we can do for our country? Most of us sit back and keep on saying nothing will happen, politicians are jerks, systems are wrong etc. But for a moment let me think which at my level is the possible thing. Things which are in my control. Some of them can be:



1. Obey traffic rules: Simply learn to stop at red light and smile at the other drivers. Let the pedestrians cross the road... can we do this?

2. Save energy: just switch of that light/fan/AC which is not required.

3. Dont use plastic or any other environment unfriendly materials

4. Talk soft and behave...need i say anything else...

5. Learn to understand that India Sabka hai...



We dont need to bring a revolution, we just need to act like

Reflections

Today as i sat in the first row of a business class seat, i reflect on my life which saw some of the most spectacular events in the last couple of months. though it sounds little cheap but then i am ordinary person from a very ordinary family who wants to do something in life. Who always wanted to experience things which his father, his family and clan could not have even imagined or even dreamt.

So let me write what i felt. First of all one fine day i was asked by my bosses to moderate a panel in leadership forum. And who were the panelist? some of the top men from some of the best known brands. I was tad nervous and it showed. I was stiff and blabbering in the beginning but regained control as things progressed. But on the whole it went well. I really felt a few good words from Arvind soothe my frayed nerves. I think i did well as that week Brand Equity gave me a quarter page coverage. Then came the 2nd opportunity when i was invited to become part of a panel discussion in a fairly large food forum. I felt kinda funny when people who didn't give me a damn few years ago were shaking my hand as if i were some log lost friend. Well that what i suppose this is what happens when you reach "there". Anyways, i had a great time. The best thing which happened was today. I spoke in front of a class of students in ISB!! yes the hallowed place where it takes 20+ lacs for one year to become part of an exclusive club of MBAs. I heard people come here to get big bucks and get into a network. Connections which will more than return the 20+ lacs spent here. I felt good and confident and carried off the presentation with ease. I guess I can speak i front of any audience now. A long way for a guy like me. Tomorrow I am being interviewed by a channel on green retail. Imagine Green retail!!

Now the best part, my wife and a great fighter of a woman, Amrita, slogged her butt off last few days on one presentation to top bosses. She worked all nights day after day. She wanted things to be just correct. Guess what they told her at the end of this?, "you are going to Mumbai"..to do what? to present her part to the board of directors. A Billion dollar plus company. Its a indeed a fantastic achievement for a woman who was not getting a job while in MBA institute. How many woman in HR gets a chance to stand in front of a team of crack directors and peak. All that in just about ten years!

I remember seeing her standing dejected against the corridor wall after one of those campus interviews. I remember her sad face and drooping shoulders. I remember i felt heart broken. I remember telling her not to lose hope. Today i dint have to tell anything to her. A cancer survivor and super honest hard worker, she will shine and get the accolades which she so well deserves.

Roots

This time I want to write something on the importance of keeping your original self intact. I have seen many times we lose sight of where we belong to. We learn, get a job and start earning some money. We start living a dream life and surround ourselves with material comforts, we drive an expensive car and wear latest brands. In this all circus, we start believing that we have become God! a completely different person from what we are born. We detest everything old and which seemingly pulls us down, reminds us of where have come from. How wrong we can be!! how can we be suddenly a different person. How can we ignore our past and how can we just chop the very basis of our being. I have been guilty of such behaviour many a times and I must say I am shamed of that. Thanks to my luck, I still have my parents, my larger family and friends from the past. I love them more now and will always respect and be sensitive to there needs. There is no better feeling than the feeling of belonging to a place and time.. to have a root and yet surge ahead in this wonderful life.

Year 2009

let me think and introspect on the year 2009 .. it was overall a fabulous year for me as a family as two of my favourite people in life had a great year. Amrita started the year in a very low note in professional front but magically regained her deserved place during the year. I must say she is one hell of a woman. Zoya had bad health but she is doing well and the best part is she got admitted in one of the best schools. As far as I am concerned, her life is made if she does thinks ok. As far as i am concerned, health has been good (Thank God) but on work front it was one of my worst years. Salary cut, no raise, etc etc...i enjoyed working in terms of learning and experience, but i am not happy with the returns. This is not the way i should spend my life in work. Things has to change and i must get going with people and places who respect my values and where i can feel fair. Anyways, no cribs overall.

Towards the end of the year, I met one of my very good friend, Praveen Bhomia, we know each other for over 18 years now and the meeting was simply super. We spent 4 hours chatting... remembered our years in REC and the things we did. I must say we agreed that we are all doing fine and are leading a normal and satisfied life. belive me, thats a great thing. I realised that having such people in life with whom we share a strong and unseen thread running through time. People who represent our core values and chatacter. When we meet these people, it works like a mirror which shows what you are. All facades fade and we feel happy.

This new year, i plan to consolidate what we have gained as a family. Health, money and general well being. I need to find a place where i can work in a just environment. On material front, a SUV will be a good idea. Also a nice europe trip.

will write more later...